kids these days are amazing. after 3 weeks of going arnd to schools, helping out with stage rehearsals and dealing with these pri 1 to 3 children, i almost want to bow down to them and seek mercy. lol. i suck at disciplining kids. even at home, i get stepped all over by my sisters cuz i'm too soft with them. whenever i'm helping out at a class, i end up joking and playing with the kids. i think the teacher wants to scold me too. haha. so when they told me they want to train me up as a teacher to start taking classes, i really dunno what to imagine. even being a stage manager, i fumble cuz im oh so blur. really. making a fool of yourself on stage ain't funny business.

so there are nasty kids who totally behave like , OMG WANT TO SLAP THEM. but there are the adorable ones too. and i must comment that SA boys are really almost all gorgeous. pretty ones i must say. they have this aura arnd them. hahaha.

so if i really take on this teaching job, i might go on to take tuition kids as well. and maybe another job. man im so broke. that is until i graduate, cuz im still very certain that i don't want to be a teacher. i believe i'll get high blood pressure before the age of 30 if i do so.

i want to cut my hair. and i'm not thinking about things that worries me. i'm not. right cactus? :)

i found another haven. cocoa islands at the maldives.



it'll be the most blissful thing if i could live here.





i'll be the happiest woman if i could wake up to such a gorgeous scene every morning.



then take a stroll on the beach leisurely.



and bask under the sun with music plugged in.



watch the sunset.



have a romantic dinner with my loved one by the sea.




even the night seems extra beautiful.



it'll be the most wonderful thing to happen to me.



if you see a boat there, it will be me (:

I SO DREAD DOING THIS PIECE OF ASSIGNMENT. SO DREADFUL I HOPE MY LAPTOP WILL DISAPPEAR SO I DON'T HAVE TO DO IT. OMG. I DON'T WANT TO DO IT. IT'S SO YUCKYYYYYYYYYY. ARGH.

okay, ranting over. it's so easy to get distracted. esp when there's songs. and there's the urge to search for lyrics. and then to sing along. and unknowingly, another 5 mins and another and another just gone like that. but without music, i'll pull out all my hair and scratch and move around like a monkey.

anyway, the songs that i LOVE right now are tunes from 500 days of summer and this guy who calls himself owl city. and here's a part of his song "Vanilla Twilight' that i really like-

"The silence isn't so bad,
Till I look at my hands and feel sad,
'Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly."

kinda cheesy? but it's perfect with the melody. so sweet.

and this japanese song 'Kona Yuki'(powdered snow), from the sob sob show, yes, 1 litre of tears. THIS SONG ROCKS MY WORLD MANS. it's so powerful. i guess i really wanna learn jap. it sounds so niceeeee. can't forget those music station and jap shows craze period. let's rewind back to p4 and nv return. can?

hate is a strong word. but i really really really don't like you. it's sad. but recently, you put me off more than ever. please gimme a reason to respect you. it's getting so hard.

i want to fly tonight.

finished the series just. this has got to be one show that sucked out a hell lot of tears from me. now it's over... i still want more of it! kinda attached to the character emotionally already.

"as we grow older, we become more useless." it's kinda true. though it's perceived that as you grow older, you have more ability and capacity to things you can't do as a young kid. but with knowledge and the realisation of how the world really is, you either lack the courage to do things you want to do or simply, you realise it's not within your means at all. the things that humans can do are so limited. at least kids no nothing about limitations. cuz to them, the sky is the limit. or maybe beyond that.

how nice if i can have that mindset even 10 years down the road :)

episode 8, titled one litre of tears. and i was wondering why name it after the show's title. indeed, this is the climax. where you really tear almost the entire episode. no joke. damn. feel so vulnerable.

but you know, this in fact makes me feel alive. emotions. sometimes the way this world is makes it almost impossible to feel anth but fatigue and "forced". the reality. that's probably why lotsa ppl turn to shows for consolation and the ticket to that fantasy world. me too. i really can't care if ppl say i'm selfish or impractical for wanting to live life my own way and always trapped in this perfect imaginary world of mine. because if i can't decide my own life, why am i here for? i'm not a pawn in a game. i've felt the repercussions and consequences of my impulsive and irrational behaviour many times. but since it's my own doing, i'll accept it.

such relevations, stemmed from the small talks i had with nn today. she said life seems meaningless. i acknowledge that. and that's why i want to prevent it frm happening. i really dunno how i'm gg to do it. i dunno how long can i stick to my beliefs. i dunno if i'll eventually succumb to reality. but right now, up till whenever i can, i don't want to give up. even so, i know this is all talk and it will not reflect wholly on my actions. because tml, i have to go to sch to get tt paper the society wants. i have to look for a job to earn money and contribute to the society.i cannot do whatever i like because i have responsibilities and the fact that not everything goes your way. so really, jus forget whatever i said. i can dream about it at night. but when i wake up, it's there. and it will always be. no matter how good i am lying to myself.

and why, it's gonna be another sleepless night. how are you cactus?

i've always wanted to watch this show. one litre of tears. but i was also fearful of being too emotionally involved. today however, i'm glad i didn't give it a miss.

so what? another sob sob true story of a girl with an incurable disease fighting for her life? it's definitely more than that. though i'm only at the 3rd episode, i'm already certain it'll be a great show. sides, this is indeed a well-received and acclaimed film.

i'm a sucker for such life inspring shows. esp if it's jap. i know it's gonna be a tear jerker but i nv expected to cry after just 5 mins of the 1st episode. the director/producer sure knows how to tug at people's heartstrings.

such shows really give me lotsa encouragement and inspiration. i always get a very fresh perspective of life. so watch it, if you haven't.

the weather can get soooooo annoying. really. why not jus get so hot that every living thing jus burns up and die. and it doesn't help when you have a smoke machine at home who can finish so many sticks consecutively. i feel like i'm gonna die very young.

i need to do smth abt my hair soon. and really get a job. and complete my assignments. i need to get it all down by the end of this mth! okay? okay!